CASA

In all my time as a journalist and human being (and maybe it may not be all too long), I’d never heard of CASA. I was a social worker intern in New York for god sake and I’d still never heard of CASA… what was wrong with me? Well today, I figured I’d join up and CASA was who I was going to join up with.

I’ve always had a soft spot for human services, trying to help those who need helping, I just didn’t ever know how to really get involved and actually make a difference (beyond recycling, donating and praying) but today I think I’ve found a way to help. CASA, Court Appointed Special Advocate Association) is a national organization that helps children who are in trouble. And I don’t mean help as in I’ll need a medical or psychology degree to help, I mean someone who goes to court on behalf of a child’s best interests. That person is going to be me from now on… well from mid September on – I will need a little training.

While coming to Montana was slightly whimsical and staying perhaps a little more to the insane end of the spectrum, I’m glad I did and I’m glad I am… I will make a difference yet.

Jillian Michaels

Jillian Michaels may not be a household name, but to those who have used her DVD’s (properly) or watched her network TV shows knows that she has devoted her life to making people proud of themselves (and a little bit to fame).

During my senior year of college I decided to devote myself not only to my studies but to my health as well – I took on a strict diet and work out regimen and with the help of a few Jillian Michaels DVD’s I dropped 40 pounds in four months… and not only that, I also did phenomenally in all of my classes – I had my life under control.

Turns out, when you’re that strict, the slightest imbalance can throw you off… Upon graduation I moved back to New York where I took a job upstate doing PR. Because the job was at a vegetarian retreat center, it was not too difficult to keep in shape but as soon as I moved on to working in Stamford, CT it all went out the window.

I think now that that was one of the many factors that lead to my leaving that job – I was unhappy in a lot of ways but one of them was with my health. I had gained all of the weight back and was generally unhappy - I was not obese by any means but my weight triggered the feeling that I was back to square one… I was not where I wanted to be - I was not doing anything that I could be proud of.

I was trained as a journalist and where I was working, they threw ethics out the window and ethics is something I am a stickler about… the company has continued to report unethically, and more so now that I am not there to put my foot down. I can’t explain it all now but something in my body told me that I was going against everything I had worked toward and I was not about to let myself fall off of the ledge, I was going to wake up and smell the proverbial coffee.

So this is yet another tale in “why Morgan moved to Montana,” and I am happy to say that the health kick has come back… ten days in and seven pounds gone… hey, it takes more than a saddle to get back onto the horse.

The Help

As my family walked toward the Richard Rodgers Theatre, my mother and I were discussing New York City. You see, this Easter, my mother had decided we should go to a show. My family always loved musicals but as my fathers' beard began to salt and pepper, my mother decided we should see Bengal Tiger at the Baghdad Zoo – a show staring the salt and peppering Robin Williams (another family favorite).

I began to explain to my mother that I didn’t ever want to live in New York City, I tried to get across to her the fact that this noise and constant hustle would severely disrupt my chi… a chi I had worked pretty hard to achieve. Her response – anyone who didn’t want to live in NYC was a wuss… afraid of all of the things it had to offer. I do not share this opinion.

“I don’t want to live anywhere where it is impossible to find a place to be alone,” I was pleading to the side of her that had taken up yoga in the past decade. She did not seem content with this reasoning but just then we had arrived at the theatre and the conversation shifted to how my father could have been Williams’ understudy... and he most certainly could have.

About two months later I would pack up and move to Montana, a place where finding peace was as easy as pie. There has been little to no threat of being in any place that was too crowded… and I admit, I did miss the hustle a smidge but not enough to move anywhere… that was until Lauren and I decided to see “The Help.” The book is a bestseller that I had read a few months back and the film had just come out – I was looking forward to it and we decided to go in the opening week.

The theater was packed… so packed in fact that we had to sit in the fourth row - my neck is still in pain. It took walking through a sea of people (more people than I imagined were in the city of Helena), tripping over purses and whispering ‘excuse me,’ to realize why I had come to Montana; for time, peace and quiet, and to figure out what or who I was... I’m not there yet - but I am glad not to have lost my foothold.

There is a character in the novel, Minnie Jackson, who was always exactly who she was, no matter what setting she was in and no matter who she was talking to and that’s who I want to be. Sure, it’d be nice to be a little like Skeeter too – write the novel, work with words ever day… but then I’d likely end up in New York City, and who really wants that?

Once there was a girl

Once upon a time there was a girl, and this girl found herself in a foreign place with very little direction. This girls father had always told her that when you’re lost is often the best time to find yourself… so that’s what this girl decided to do – search. The girl had left her job; a job that took more of herself than she had to give, had left her friends and family, and had disappeared into a valley surrounded by tall mountains so that only those within the valley could see her – well those people and perhaps a few giants, giants that could peer over the mountain tops.

Still feeling a little lost, the girl began to look for any sign that she was doing the right thing. She began attending church again, and a beautiful church it was… a cathedral if we’re being precise. The girl began applying for a variety of jobs, some that she was qualified for, others she was not. She began looking for ways to control what was around her, her habits, exercise, diet, her belongings - all in order. A sense of déjà vu crept over her as if she had done all of this before. Was the girl attempting to find something she had already found… Or starting over because last time it had turned out all wrong? Something told the girl that slow and steady was the way to go, but she wasn’t sure.

What the girl was sure of however was that no matter what comes our way, eventually, something good will happen. She knew this from experience and because good things had to happen to good people. The girl truly believed… Of course, this all assumes a just world.

One month and counting

I've been here in Helena for a little over a month now and here are some of the things I've come across: lots and lots of Moo's, kind people, some horses (a lot bigger than I imagined), unusually kind people, big skies, lots of stars, tons of mountains, nice hiking trails, some floating rivers, and a lot of country.

All of these things I should have assumed to run into but I don't think I mentally prepared myself… you see, my friend Lauren had been semi-jokingly asking me to move to Montana for about six months before I actually did – and the catalyst to such a decision was weighted in my disdain for the East Coast, not my intense desire to travel out west – ergo my unpreparedness. It’s alright though. I’ve come a long way since arriving, though I’ve been cautious about what I explore and when. Maybe I haven’t come as far as many would like but those many still call east of the Mississippi home.

At first I thought I would dive into the culture head first and run around the town and outside ranches, exploring fast and loose…. but I realized that perhaps in taking things slowly I could allow myself a little time to investigate myself as well as my surroundings. I’m not sure how far along I am with all that either… I’ve had a few breakthroughs here and there but I feel my impatient nature creeping up - telling myself to hurry up and understand the west as well as myself and get on with it already. Trick is, I’m not sure which side of me is right in this situation.